Life is a series of events that train us to live consciously. We are born into this world asleep, slowly learning to navigate the world through eyes inherited to us by genetics, environmental factors, and cultural expectations. Because these views are different to each individual and group they must be distorted or the view of an absolute objective reality must be. There is a soup of atoms, waves, energies flying around that constitute our universe, strings oscillating in different dimensions, matter animated by life, no one can understand the true objective reality because it is simply too enormous to comprehend. As such there is no objective reality, there is only what we can pick up through our senses and the meaning we are trained to associate with those inputs. This awareness is typically not something we are accustomed to when we are first introduced to the world, we are in absolutes about what is real and what is not. Who is right and who is not. This frame of reference is the cause of war and competition and dis-ease. This mindset limits our understanding of the universe, others and our true selves. It is an automatically downloaded blinker system that keeps us comfortable in what we can be absolutely certain about, and sure in the knowledge that we are all individual.
This way of being is harming the environment and ourselves. Abhorrent individualisation is pushing competition and driving consumerism which is harming the planet, draining resources and imbalancing the intricate system we are a part of. As such we are undergoing a current shift in collective consciousness. True understanding and awareness, which, once upon a time, was only available to people who committed their entire life to spiritual practice, is becoming easier and easier to obtain. With the improvement of living conditions for many in the West post industrial revolution, more space within us has been free’d to evolve and transform our way of thinking and relating to the world. This process is usually initiated by something that forces us to change. For many that is a near-death experience, a place from which people can experience ‘post-traumatic growth’ but it is more than that. A person’s points of reference completely change and they see the world through a completely transformed lense.
For other people, it is the descent into an inexplicable existential depression. A depression that surpasses the usual definition. This depression is highlighted by complete disorientation, loss of all previous certainties, absolutes and references. Big questions emerge about the nature of being, ‘who am I?’ ‘ Why am I here? What is the Point? ‘I don’t understand’ It is a place of seemingly inexhaustible darkness and complete aloneness. But it is there for a reason. It is so heavy as to be overpowering, usually the stronger one’s certainty on world views the more darkness you experience as it is required to pindown one’s mind until it finally submits. Once you can fully surrender to the depression and once you can comprehend that you actually know nothing – it will start to ease. Saint John of the Cross, a Spanish monk, coined the term “Dark Night of the Soul” (“Noche Oscura” the name of one of his poems) based on his own existential depression that lead to mystical experiences and divine connection.
The purpose of the Dark Night is good and it is ultimately a good sign that you have outgrown your current frame of reference and it is time to awaken. What is actually happening is that a part of ‘you’ is dying. In actual terms, part of your mind (egoic self) that you were strongly identified with but that isn’t actually you is dying. This egoic self and its attachment to how it perceives the world is holding your growth and expansion back; so your soul (knowing what you require in order to grow) naturally pushes this old part to splinter off. Dark nights are often made worse by people fighting this process and urging to remain control over what is perceives and what is happening. The best thing you can do if you start to feel grief symptoms is to let them run and accept them for what they are. Fighting the process doesn’t stop it, it prolongs and exacerbates it. By fighting it you end up fighting everything around you, pushing negative energy into a universal system that delivers to you what you put out – meaning you will attract more and more negativity in this state until you literally cannot cope and collapse, allowing the process to work as you are exhausted and finally surrender.
All of this probably sounds terrifying, and it is not pleasant whilst it happens and you don’t understand what is happening. However, it is the start of understanding the life-death-life cycle. The one universal truth is that everything bursts into existence, dies, reshapes, rebirths. The universe is a constant flux of activity that is never still or absolute. It is forever flowing through a cycle of life – death – life. Nothing is fixed. So when our mindset is fixed, or is obsessed with becoming fixed on something, it does not serve us in understanding and cooperating with the world around us. So by allowing the fixed mindset to die, a new one is born, one that begins to learn these fundamental truths. This process is constant, learning, attaching, releasing, living, dying, living until we realise, by the nature of the universe, there is nothing for our minds to attach to because everything is in constant flux. We realise presence is the only constant, and change becomes no longer something scary or challenging but is understood as the basis of everything. This is the opposite view of the egoic mind that’s job is to categorise, sort and fix everything in our minds frame of reference. We see this in society, where everything is labeled and systemised. This certainly has a very important place but it is now over-valued, we can exist in a world where we have society and order but also a true understanding of the universe and ability to cooperate with the landscape around us. Society and awakening are not mutually exclusive, we can and must have both.
The dark night of the soul is a true gift. It brings great darkness but allows us to witness true light and follow a path that leads to absolute fulfilment. This journey, shows us the beauty, connection and joy of being. Particularly being part of a universal dance. For those experiencing the dark night, chances are there is someone you are energetically attached to who has awakened. Being close to that energy can start the process in you. If you have a feeling you know who that person is, reach out to them, share what you are going through they will be able to understand and support you.
Otherwise, trust in the process, surrender to the flow, feel what comes up and stay with it. This path whilst painful is leading you to inexplicable wonders.
